Registry

As our wedding day draws nearer we thought we'd brooch the subject of gifts. Traditionally in America, when a couple got married they did so fresh out of their parent's houses, and thus had no things to put in their new and shared house. So wedding gifts would consist of useful household things and keepsakes for the new couple to treasure. Crystal and china have been popular wedding gifts this last century, perhaps because of their status as something special they have been considered a staple for weddings and various anniversaries.

 

The circumstances of our wedding will be a bit different, though, from this traditional path. I have had my own set of dishes since I was a teenager (I know, I'm such a dork!) and we have both lived on our own and have accumulated most all household items that we need. The last thing we want to do is look a gift horse in the mouth, but at the same time, we'd love to be able to share our wedding gifts with our wedding guests. That's why we'd like to give the option of people choosing to gift specific parts of the wedding. Our plan is to have a tapas-style dinner with lots of easy-to-eat food so that the atmosphere can stay social and movable. We'll have cheese, fruits, marinated morsels of deliciousness and more. For people who don't know what to get us but would like ot get us something, this would be perfect. Instead of a punch bowl we may never have an occasion to enjoy, why not give the gift of wine or cheese or fruit? That way you and all the other guests can share in our collective enjoyment of your gift.

Example

This Absolut ad is a great example of postmodern with kitsch, the idea of taking back kitsch to be something enjoyed rather than shunned. The ideas I had for the centerpieces are actually very close to this!

This Is The Cake I Want!

Meditations On Theme

So when I was going through ideas in my head, the color schemes of Indian weddings and Dia De Los Muertos came up. I like the idea of having vibrant colors at the wedding and no pastels. But I wanted a little more pliable theme with room for me to get creative and keep it personal. We both like the idea of post-modern deconstruction.

Here is a link I like and identify with. I prefer deconstruction as the idea of divorcing automatic meanings from events. I believe we can make our own meaning, in a reasonable, case by case manner. I further believe that it is necessary to our humanity and that it is our duty to create our own meanings with events we experience.

The recycled arts and crafts I do is an example of the literal, physical deconstructionism that I enjoy. I want those to be prominent in the wedding decor - from the centerpieces to my dress, which is my mom's old wedding dress, cut up, dyed, and resewed to fit me.

So I decided I want a post-modernist, deconstructionist, whimsical, hipster wedding. I'm talking moustaches, swallows, octopuses, bicycles, suspenders, anything vintage, kitschy, artifacts of our lives worked into the decorations.

The idea of blurring the lines between ritual, ceremony, and performance is very exciting. The wedding will have an entirely different structural feel than most weddings, and we haven't even finalized what the ceremony/performance/ritual will be. But it will be some blending of those two!

Casual Engagement Party

Thanks to everyone who could make it to our casual engagement party, we posted it on facebook only two days ago, so it was small :) Here's some pictures of Whitney and Ethan dancing!

How We Met

We met through our mutual friend, Trevor. Trevor was one of Brett's childhood friends and I dated Trevor for 3 and a half years, but had never met Brett. We met sometime in the summer of 2010, while I would drop off Trevor to the Hatch house to play bloodbowl. The first thing Brett remembers about me is a hilarious misimpression: he saw smoke in the little white egg timer car and the arm with the tattoo. He abstracted in his head that I was a tattooed smoker!

We met more formally at Sneha's Indian Restaurant in Palo Alto. Trevor and I were no longer dating and our friendship works well. He had been bugging me to meet his childhood friend, Brett. He said I would like him best out of all his friends and that we'd be perfect together. I didn't really like the idea of being set-up, so I ignored Trevor for a while. One night I decided it would be fun to go to an indian restaurant in a carpool and meet new people.

Trevor and I drove to meet the Hatches in Scotts Valley. I shook hands with Ethan, Brett, and James and then we all piled in their mom's van and went. I don't remember much of Brett that night; I was still on the solitary side at the time, before my acting-class-epiphany summer. After that we met sparingly until I started dating someone elseand incidentally saw Brett at the Ugly Mug one day. For the first time I got the vibe that he viewed me separately from Trevor, like I wasn't just that friend of Trevor'. He remembered my name was Tatiana.

Wedding Philosophy

As you may have noticed, this wedding is not particularly traditional. And as you all find out more about what the wedding will be like, and as we figure it out ourselves, you may wonder as to why we're doing what we're doing. While I don't have any answers just yet, I want everyone to remember something very important. The wedding/reception and the general feel may be whimsical, playful, bizarre, eclectic and the planning may seem casual because we are not treading the path of past precedent, but make no mistake: Our divergence for tradition in no way affects what this means to us or how seriously we take it.

Reverence and tradition are not the only way to honor a marriage bond.

We chose to get married because we want to spend our lives together and we chose to have a wedding because we want to share this commitment with the people we know and love. If anyone is offended by the way we honor our marriage, I apologize, as it is not our intent to offend.

That being said, IT'S A CELEBRATION, BITCHES! This day and all those leading up to it are not about the differences but about celebrating our union in whatever exciting fashion possible.

Wedding Party Participants

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who would like to be in the wedding party is welcome to! This day is about sharing our new lives with those people who matter to us, so if you would like to share in that by being in the wedding party - welcome!

Logistics

• Bridesmaids will wear their own solid black dresses (with no other colors, please)
• Bridesmaids will be supplied with matching sashes and hair pieces to tie them all together
• The actual ceremony will be different than most, being in the wedding party may require you to be the center of attention for short amounts of time, so make sure to be flexible
• Groomsmen will wear black slacks and a solid black suit jacket
• If you have a full black suit, feel free to wear it. If not, just pick up slacks and a coat that fits at the thrift store or anywhere, I will dye all the groomsmen suits the same shade black (roughly).
• Being in the wedding party does not mean you have to plan anything you don't want to, it's just an optional way to participate
• There won't be a traditional walk down the aisle, so for now, or at least until further notice there is no traditional flower girl and ring bearer, however, if there are little people (or big people!) out there who want to participate in a sort-of flower girl/ring bearer capacity, let me know and we can work something out!
  

Save The Date

Hi all!

So you're probably here because you saw our Save The Date cards. This blog is so anyone can keep up with the plans, give us feedback, answer questions, etc...

The question of the hour is: WHERE are you guys having it? I have no answer yet. I'm currently researching renting a warehouse. I want a warehouse because it will be large, simply decorated (i.e. not at all, hopefully) and I could make it have a DIY/steam-punky feel with decor.

---> If anyone knows anyone who owns property or has any connections with someone who would know about renting a warehouse for an event like this, PLEASE let me know :)

Next order of business: THEME. Right now I'm thinking a kind of DIY-hipster-kitsch theme. Think an eclectic mix of moustaches, butterflies, swallows, antlers, flowers, squids, art nouveau, art deco, and COLORFUL. The above image is one I will use for something, don't know what yet, but something.